覺得自己很低很低，
被人踩在地上，打從心裡的瞧不起，
不好受。
不喜歡。

到底要到什麼時候，
我才可以，真正的，喜歡上這片土地。

我，失去了方向，漂泊不定，
未來的路，看不見，
不懂為了什麼在努力，
盲目的努力，
好累。

gripped by tiredness, stress these few days.
was busy for midterms preparation and lab reports.
workload is like endless.
i still have 3 more midterm and 1 lab report.

HK classmate said, why do you look exhausted, ur face seems lifeless, it is big different from last sem.
i was like, huh. do i really look that bad.
she is a nice friend anyway, da nicest one i met here.
i appreciate her.

i didnt notice i actually look that tired.
uni life did age us, not including everyone, but at least it does on me.

shoulders are feeling ache and numb for few days d.
no way can cure, though pain relieving patch is applied.
walking alone on the street,
keep wondering, why am I here, why do I supposed to be here.
i feel so tired and strength-less, to take care of myself.
so much so much to do,
not enough time for me to spare on studies.

taking good care of health, time needed.
good food, good sleep, good supplement, time needed.

opting for someone to have heart-to-heart talk,
but everyone is so busy, overloaded with uni works.
and sometime i question, is uni student dont deserve time to rest.
2 hours lecture to get a supposedly-completed-in-one-month syllabus done,
and the next day expecting you master it well, able to ans lecturer's questions,
and sit for test two weeks later.
i dont have a enormous smart brain to thoroughly comprehend and skill in everything as fingertips.
so, i beg your forgiveness,
but it seems,
i am just giving excuse.

okay, enough, it is all crap.
i am allowing myself to have a dream,
to escape from this so-called intense university life.

resolution for this sem,
score well, eat well, sleep well.
it is unfulfilled at time being,
cause i am LACK OF SLEEP!!! =(

哭過就真的好了嗎？

不喜歡懷疑什麼　並不表示我沒有感受
看你微妙的變化　慢慢不同
我不是生氣　　只是心痛
最討厭被誤會了　但越解釋越覺得難過
你可以説人會變　但不能説　你會這麼做是我的錯

哭過就好了　傷都會好的
這樣相信所以深呼吸著割捨
愛是為了擁抱　　為了牽手
不是為了爭吵　　為了調頭

記憶有限　　　所以它會淘汰壞的
失眠聽歌　　　想念雖然苦澀
還是謝謝你讓我長大了

哭過就真的好了嗎？

夢

晏說，当你不喜欢一个人的时候，他做什么事情在你眼中，都是那么刺眼。
賢講，我們擁有最棒的中學生涯。
學姐說，是无论何人何事，都要尽量开心，不要委屈自己，做好自己。

最近，失去了原來的自己。
不想不開心，所以儘量配合身邊的人，
不想聽到他們的冷言冷語，所以做了另一個我。

漸漸，心累了，身體也累了。
獨自的時間，放任自己，
刻意的，無意的，忽略功課。

完全忘了，我為什麼來香港，
之前做這個選擇，是抱著怎樣的夢想。
口口聲聲說，我要一個不平凡的大學，
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN,
是那時的抱負。
自豪的，得意的，覺得這是個對的選擇。
來到這裡，一個多學期，
把這些，全部忘了。

是誰，有好大的夢想，
跟他說，我要進PFIZER，我要在藥廠，我要做藥劑。
是誰，笨笨的，不懂天高地厚，
跟他說，我要做女強人，我一定會成功。

現在，連爲什麽要讀書，都不清楚了。
不是為知識，只是為考試。

夢，還有嗎？
心底的它說，還有。
但是，
外面的它，懷疑著，
你能做到嗎？

夢，要追，
讓夢想實現，不簡單，
單嘴巴講，沒用。

好像找回，
那個笨笨的自己，
那個不理三七二十一，
不理別人怎麼看，怎麼講，
只抱著自己的夢的那個女孩。

tonight,
need a tight hug,
need a shoulder to cry on,
need someone to tell me,
everything will be alright after all.

my favourite post fr my old blog :)

WHEN FRIENDS CHANGE. WHEN I CHANGE.

do you have a friend who is changing, and it's got you feeling blue?
before you get too down and start to questioning what's happening, consider this :

EVERYTHING IS CONSTANTLY CHANGING
leaves fall from tree and grow back again,
weather storms come and go,
hair keep growing no matter how many times it's cut,
da ocean tide goes in and out...

it is just a part of nature.
anything can spur change in a friend.

after all.
knowing that change is normal and doesn't necessarily have to be bad.
unless she is changing for da worst and you are concerned about her well being, give her da space she needs to explore these new interests.
take care of yourself and acknowledge that you are changing even as you feel that.
everything we learn, take in and process changes who we are and how we view da world.

accept da changes

in everyone

noone wanting to be da background

to be forgotten, neglected

noone wanting to put up with emotional words

to stand hatred face, perfunctory response

-

have been guilty

of giving too much power to someone

and then

feeling helpless and unable to get it back

-

we feel da situation

but why do we let her control da way we are acting and thinking

because

we give our power to people we think they are charismatic

one smile from them can easily make us feel like a million bucks

so we do whatever it takes

to keep those smiles coming

=)

is it too slow

to realise

all da falls AND falsehoods

sorry does not exist

it is merely

da matter of

learning to love and to be loved

what a day!

with no reason, feel gloomy since i wake up.

annoyed by da loud banging of room door in da early morning.

why cant just shut da door properly instead banging it hard, for a few times.

idiotic people!

hit da day with 5 hours lecture continuously,

get stuck!

totally tired of kiasu people,

discussing non stop for one single doubt in notes, yet insisting her own point of view, ignore explanation from others.

hello, then what for you ask.

i am lazy to entertain you.

and i dont know why you all show me a weird expression when i said i am heading to library or holding an unfamiliar textbook in front of you.

lending text book/reading one more text book doesn't mean i will get much smarter than you lar, kay?

stay calm.

come back to hall,

start cleaning up my room,

whenever i feel upset, i will clean my room,

it is like clearing all da unhappiness sticked in my heart.

very useful, i am feeling much better now!

我好想回家！！！

看著家裡帶來的東西，

更想家！=（

我不喜歡一個人留在這裡

今晚吃雞粥，想起阿公。

香港的雞，沒有雞味!

每次不開心，就會和自己說，

撐下去，多撐一下，就可以回家了。

還有十一個星期，

十一個罷了，

很快就過！！！